PROCRASTINATION

by Sara Denning

People with ADD are accused of lethargy, avoidance, no self discipline and procrastination.

In my work with ADD people I have discovered that there are doubts that have been planted in our minds about what is really going on. These doubts are dangerous and carcinogenic -- they grow and end up being accusations, not only from others but from ourselves.

Negative scenarios are created such as avoidance means you don't care and procrastination means you just don't want to. When we use terms like procrastination and avoidance with ADD there are feelings being triggered that may lead to anger ADD people often don't know the difference and blame themselves.

What is being experienced by the person with ADD may not be procrastination, it may be overload. Take a few seconds to think of everything you did today -- all at the same time. Now imagine that you have to get it all done at once. Are you feeling overwhelmed yet? lets see if we can untangle these terms and separate them from ADD symptoms.

Procrastination vs. ADD -- what is the difference and what can be done to disentangle these in our heads?

Remember the last time you felt you were procrastinating. Gee I don't want to...( fill in the blank.) How did you feel? Was there a sense of not now? A fear of consequences? Did you feel the results might not be rewarding? Does this sound like a conscious choice process? Did you have some sense of control in this evaluation?

With ADD an example process might go like this: On the way from the kitchen (where you went but forgot why) to tire bathroom to get some tweezers, the phone in the bedroom rang and you pick it up to talk to your mother (Who you think you said you would call yesterday) but it is your sister asking if you found her the recipe for meat loaf (that was why you were in the kitchen!) and after you speak to her you see those papers that need filing and pick them up and go hack to the kitchen, while thinking of what it was you needed to tell your mother.

No rationalization and no excuses exist in this scenario. Instead confusion and guilt are prominent and there is an inability to prioritize. Good intentions run amok. There is a desire to accomplish, everything or five things at once.

In this scenario there are no choices being made only feelings of pressure and uncertainty and demoralization and disappointment. With procrastination there is the sense of control, of decision and clear feelings. With ADD there is no sense of control or choice.

Avoidance vs. ADD/Distraction

What have you tried to avoid recently What were the feelings involved Fear, resentment, anger. What were the consequences? Avoidance is some level of conscious choice not to take action. As with the example above you can see that with ADD and distraction to many things are coming in without conscious choices being made for each.

With ADD it feels like choices make you and there exists an inability to separate out input into choices. There is an inability to hold onto one thing, one thought, or possibly one's self. These inabilities can lead to panic, paralysis, overload, or in some cases rebellion, anxiety and anger.

Understanding and awareness of one's self with ADD is new element we want to introduce. Awareness is not a cure. But it can sure help breed patience and better communication. Recognition of what is really happening is the guide and then communication about it as it is happening. Examples of better communication with self and others:

Communication --I don't know where to start. Response-- do your favorite part first.

Communication --I feel overwhelmed. Response--OK, I/ you are on overload, how about 10 minutes time out and then look at what can be done, not what should be done.

The next step is re-learning decision making for the person with ADD not anyone else!

The reward is self satisfaction, not following an order. We are leaning that self direction is the strongest medicine in many areas including the medical model of illness.

One of the first steps in decision making is do I need to do it now? In other words where does this fit on my priority list and in real time.

The person with ADD can learn a Go/No Go technique. The next question is if not now then when? Not now must include a commitment to when. The not now scenario is actually a pan of the decision making process. Now we can use terms like procrastination and avoidance and conscious choice within a structure of decision making capabilities. Lack of decision making skills leads to helplessness, and low self esteem. Decision making breeds self confidence, self support, and is based on self knowledge.

Decision making can include discovery. It may involve fooling around to stumble on the results. It may involve comparing apples to oranges because they are both fruits. It may involve daydreaming about the topic or playing around it.

We have to remove the self accusations and fear that can be a big part of ADD. We have to communicate what is really happening, not an assumed judgment. We need to untangle ADD from procrastination and avoidance and look at the evidence from the inside out.

(1997 Sara Denning All Rights Reserved May Not Be Reproduced Without Express Written Consent.)